Faster than the speed of light

All of a sudden he started going faster. I thought it may have something to do with trying to make a fool of me, being English and didn't think any more about it. So I too increased my speed. And he went still faster. So did I. Then I looked in my rear view mirror to find a policeman behind me indicating for me to pull over. I never had a speeding ticket before and was nervous.
However, as luck would have it. The Fireman turned off the road and pulled into a blazing house fire. I did the same. And the policeman followed.
The Fireman got out of the car (this wasn't Wendy's I hasten to add), I did and the policeman did.
The policeman came up to the car and asked for my license. I tried to explain that we were following the car in front (the fireman). It was at this point that the fireman realised what had happened. He turned to me and said, "I forgot all about you following me. Sorry officer this was my fault. I told them to follow me because they were lost."
And fortunately for us the policeman believed the fireman and let us off.
Two hours later we turned up at my nephews restaurant - fortunately it was for a lunch - and he asked what happened to us. My sister explained we went to a fire.
The irony was that my sister use to tell my nephew off (he was a volunteer fireman) for going to fires and not letting her know.

As darkness approaches. . .

My sister and I pulled into what we thought was an offical building to ask directions. The building looked like an American government one - very official and very clean. When I say clean, I think clinical would be a better word.
Just as I was about to get out of the car, a man in a uniform came out of the building. I thought the uniform looked like a policeman but it wasn't it was a fireman.
With a British accent, I asked him if he heard of my nephew's restaurant. He replied yes he knew it and proceeded to tell me how to get to it. The trouble was his directions were full of Highways this and routes that - he might as well have been talking in another language because I certainly didn't understand any of it. In England, we are more direct with our instructions.
I then asked him to draw us a map whereupon he said, "Follow me. I'm going to Wendy's but if you carry on straight down the road after I turn off at Wendy's you'll see it on the right."
It sounded pretty simple to me.
He got in his car, drove out onto the main road and I followed.
I was saying to my sister how nice it was for him to put himself out for us. She agreed.
We had been following him for about 10 minutes. He'd stop at the lights for us and wait till we caught up because we had no idea where we were going. It was a case of following the leader.
Then, out of the blue . . . . . .

The road to nowhere

The directions the Amish mother gave us seemed straight forward, if you knew where you were going and the area. Unfortunately, there were no road signs, no indications as to where we were no nothing really. But we were lost - well and truly lost.
So we did what anyone else who was lost would do and just keep driving. Turning left after two crossroads then right to a smaller road that looked more like a drive way than a road. Eventually after what seemed to be a lifetime although it was probably only an hour or so we saw our first MacDonalds - the well known American signpost to anywhere in the world. So we turned right. A few miles down the road we came across a signpost that said Lancaster 5 miles. Lancaster was the place we wanted to visit.
As we approached Lancaster my sister flicked a couple of switches that pulled the roof of the convertible over her heads. She locked the roof in then proceeded to lock the doors with the electronic locking system. "Why did you do that?" I asked in a surprised voice.
"Two people were shot and killed here last week." she replied.
"Do you know where we are going now?"
"Not exactly she replied"
"What does that mean?" I asked.
It was at this point that I began to look for somewhere to stop and ask for directions. The people we saw walking down the road looked harmless until my sister informed me that there were more gangs here than in many of the big cities.
What a fun day this was turning out to be. We were already over an hour and a half late for our restaurant booking.
Just past a set of traffic lights I saw what looked like an official building. I decided to pull in and ask for directions.