How to be a successful Checkout Assistant

The best ways to get on with fellow members of your Supermarket Colleagues, Supervisors and Managers are:
1. Bake cakes - bake a cake for every shift - make certain the cakes you bake are favourites of management - give them the biggest piece - forget about the added cost and time - it is definitely an investment in your well being and will earn you enough brownie points to be able to do what you want. If you don't know how to bake, LEARN.
2. Milk the system -take longer breaks - if you keep your head down and do your job - other members of staff will not like you - you will become "the only one"
3. Do not inform management of anything - management generally are idiots and only look after themselves - you too must learn to do the same.
4. Don't take anything personally - especially when customers are rude - customers know that you can't answer back otherwise you will get the sack - if only you could.
5. Remember that everybody is out for themselves - you must be too
6. Tell management how good they are this too will earn you extra priviledges
7. Brown nosing will get you everywhere and will make your life a whole lot easier